Endlessly Dreaming
by xMoon'sRainx
Summary: I was the sole survivor of Flight 83 and as a result, I can read minds. Despite my ability, I have never felt more alone. Until I met Edward, a fellow clairvoyant, who is the only one who understand what it's like to lose what you cherish most. EdwardXOC
1. Chapter 1: A Chance At Something New

**A/N:**** Re-uploaded to my backup account. (originally posted on my other account, -Moon'sRain-)**

**Endlessly Dreaming:**

_**Prologue:**_

_What was left of my life had become a backdrop for a bad movie. Everything that made sense to me, everything that I thought I knew, had gone down the drain. All was lost and nothing mattered anymore. Things that I had once thought were incredulously impossible had become my reality and solidified right before my eyes. There were things I could do now that I couldn't do before. The result of losing everything and everyone had given me something new, something I didn't want_

_Thoughts. Ideas. Desires. Emotions… All of these filled my head every hour of every day. But no, they were not my own wants and dreams. They belonged to others around me. And I could hear them all. Sometimes even … walls talked to me if I touched them …They gave me stories of the past …That was if I concentrated hard enough, which I rarely wanted to._

_Even with the constant buzz of tedious noise inside my brain, I had never felt more alone. Who could I tell about this without getting locked up in a padded cell or latched on a table underneath thousands of scientists? Not my uncle … not my old friends … certainly not the therapist I was scheduled with every week._

_I told no one … until I found the man who had the same ability as me. And even then, he wasn't even human._

**Chapter 1:** _A Chance At Something New_

_**Take a photograph,  
It'll be the last,  
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,  
I don't have a past  
I just have a chance,  
Not a family or honest plea remains to say,  
Rain, rain go away,  
Come again another day,  
All the world is waiting for the sun**_

_**Rain – Breaking Benjamin**_

Upon arrival in Forks, Washington, I half expected to be hounded with paparazzi like I had been for the past two weeks. Instead, I was greeted with the sight of people milling about the bus stop, not even glancing once at me. I exhaled in relief and relaxed, feeling a little bit secure. I tugged my jacket over one arm while holding my cat carrier and pulled my luggage behind me with the other. As soon as I took a step, I became overwhelmed with the thoughts of others once again.

'_I hope I have enough for this ticket…'_

'_Where is he? Shouldn't he be here by now…? Surely I told him the time...'_

'_That bus was pure hell on wheels… smelly; uncomfortable… you'd think they could…'_

'_Uh, of course it's pouring rain! What else can go wrong?'_

I winced and closed my eyes, trying to block out the muddled sounds of the bustling people around me. This had been the norm for me since the plane crash. I could hear what people were thinking, what they were feeling, what they wanted … Sometimes, if I placed my palm flat against a wall, I could hear sounds or stories embedded within the plaster. It gave the saying, 'If walls could talk' a whole new meaning.

Since the crash, I had wanted nothing more than silence to myself, but I never got that sanctuary. I knew I shouldn't have lived when our plane lost turbulence and crashed brutally onto a packed highway, which also took the lives of countless others. No one else lived, so why did I? Your guess is as good as mine. I have no idea. The most I got out of the accident was a gash to the forehead and this uncanny ability to read minds. I felt that this curse was punishment for surviving.

Sighing sharply, I looked around the crowd of people for Blake, my uncle that had been unfortunate enough to get stuck with me. Before the crash, my parents, my little sister and brother and I had been planning to come out here to Forks for a while to stay with him. Fate had a cruel sense of humor, I guess. They never made it, but I get to stay with my uncle after all.

After the accident, my great aunt had picked me up from the hospital and allowed me to stay with her until she made further "arrangements". As soon as the media got word of the only survivor of Flight 83, paparazzi and news reporters swarmed my great aunt's house with questions, comments, and countless pictures, which she resented greatly. During that time, I was struggling with my newfound ability. I would accidently respond to my aunt's thoughts or feelings when she was in another room, or do what she wanted me to do without her asking … stuff like that.

I had to watch her mouth every time I heard a thought or idea in her head just to make sure she wasn't physically speaking to me. I had accidentally touched her arm once and proceeded to feel like I had stepped into her body entirely. Everything she was seeing, feeling, watching, thinking, etc. erupted into my brain and I had fallen to the ground in sheer surprise and terror. I never touched a person since then. She couldn't ship me off to my uncle fast enough. I was grateful of course that he was more than willing to accept me with open arms, even though my aunt often told him of my "strange behavior", which he disregarded as PTS.

"Ashlynn!"

I looked up, abruptly pulling out of my own musings. I saw Blake walk over to me, beaming and waving. His ash blonde hair looked wild and unkempt, and he had dark circles under his eyes. My uncle was young, only twenty three years old, and currently single. He worked as a nurse part-time and was finishing up his studies at a local college to get his Ph.D. He was just getting used to life. He didn't deserve to get landed with a screw-up, disturbed kid like me. I hadn't seen him since the funeral, though. He looked the same, I guess.

_There she is, poor girl. I wonder how she's doing … she can't possibly still .. no, that's impossible…_ Blake's thoughts were muddled and incomprehensible, fading into countless amounts of worry for me. I cleared my throat and curled a stray hair behind my ear, not knowing what to say as he approached me.

"Hey honey, how are you?" He moved to hug me and I abruptly stepped back, cringing to myself.

"I'm fine," I answered monotonously, not looking him in the eyes. My fists tightened around handle of the carrier, which contained my brother's kitten … named Sweetie. Little kids usually had wonderful imaginations when it came to naming things, but Riley wanted to call her Sweetie for some reason or another. Sweetie was a small, orange and white bundle of fur. She was maybe a month old. We had gotten her for Riley right before we had decided to leave. God knew how much he adored that cat, and I couldn't bear to part with her like my aunt suggested. She stayed with my great aunt Sylvia when we left, thank god.

Blake nodded and held out his hand, inclining for me to hand him the cage. I did so, with a small squawk from inside the pen, and he led me out of the bus stop, filling me in on town life of Forks.

"It's good that Sylvia sent you here. Nice and quiet town. No one's gonna bother you much here, trust me." He shot me a bright smile which I returned tepidly.

I nodded to myself, biting my lip. Quiet was good. Quiet was what I needed; what I wanted for so long. We approached a navy blue car and he pulled open the passenger door for me. He took my remaining luggage and stuffed them into the backseat, slamming the door shut. He handed me the cage and I took Sweetie out, holding her to my breast to shield her from the rain as I got in. She purred softly and fussed with the hem of my shirt, occasionally mewing softly. I stroked her fur to calm her.

I slowly settled in the seat, taking in the details and smells of the cab. Blake got in the driver's side and started the engine. We pulled out of the bus station and barreled down a slick highway. I stared out the window, watching the fresh rain drops bead on the surface. According to Blake, Forks was one of the rainiest cities in the United States. This was going to be hard to get used to, I realized. I was so used to the warm, balmy weather of California and the constant rays of sizzling sunshine.

The awkward silence between us was uncomfortable and I reluctantly dipped into Blake's mind, curious as to what he was thinking about me.

_It's a small school, she should be ok there. Good kids, good teachers…Already registered her there, maybe we should swing by it while I show here the town…I wonder if…_

"So, you still uh … seeing that Lucas kid?" Blake asked, peering over at me out of the corner of his eyes.

Instantly, I scowled. Lucas Clear, my ex-boyfriend, was the entire reason my family had gotten on that plane. Apparently, that little detail had been left out when my parents had made plans with him. Part of me was relieved that he didn't know, but I still felt uneasy. I didn't want to tell him all by myself.

"No," I answered darkly, gritting my teeth,

"Hmm … He was a good kid, I liked him…" Blake mumbled. I touched my cheek tentatively, even though I knew the bruise was long gone. I grit my teeth and clenched my fists in anger.

. "He was a fucking asshole," I replied, not caring about my use of words.

Blake shot me a look of utter surprise, his mouth falling open at my outburst. But, he said nothing more and kept on driving. Occasionally, Blake would point out the windshield at a random building, or person, naming them off with ease. We drove past Forks High and I sighed wistfully. It was smaller than I was used to, which kind of terrified me. I don't like packed spaces… I get claustrophobic very easily. Especially if people are cramped around me. But then I realized that if the school is smaller, than there must not be many students, which relieved me a bit.

Finally, we arrived at Blake's house. It was just how I remembered, but it didn't seem as big. I had only been here once or twice when I was fourteen, which had been just when my baby sister was born. I remembered driving up for the first time with my parents and walking up the narrow pathway with my two year old brother on my hip. My parents carted my baby sister in their arms and conversed excitedly with my uncle. The house didn't look like it had changed much in the past two years. It was the same two story staccato house that held so many memories for me. I had never been here since.

Blake was always the one to make the drive out to our home in Cali, rather than let us make the journey ourselves. To save money, he had insisted.

Blake helped me unload my cargo, which he carried with ease. I put Sweetie back in her cage and followed Blake inside the house. To my surprise and joy, Blake had already done his best to accommodate the spare bedroom upstairs for me. He remembered my favorite color, which was light purple, and had painted the walls with it. A few of my dad's old rock band posters hung up on the walls. My father lived with Blake and his parents before he married my mother, and this was his old room.

There was a brand new laptop on the desk farthest from me, along with a new looking lamp sitting next to a stack of fresh school books. I spotted a cat bed and litter box in the corner, adorned with toys, cat food, food dishes, and the like. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that Sweetie's name had been custom embroidered into the front of the bed. I smiled to myself, feeling so happy that Blake was family. He cared so much about every little detail. Still, I was left to wonder why he was single.

My own bed looked relatively old, and I wondered if it was my fathers. There was a floral comforter spread neatly across it, as well as two gigantic, fluffy-looking pillows at the head of the bed. I glanced down, seeing old white carpet. I noticed several dark soda stains and smiled, knowing without a doubt that these must have come from my father. He was the clumsiest person I knew and I was glad I inherited my mother's grace.

Out of sheer curiosity, I placed my hand against the purple wall and concentrated. After a moment, I could make out the muffled voice of my father. I heard his laughter, and then several rifts of a guitar. He sounded younger, but I knew it was him.

Tepid tears pooled in my closed eyes and slipped down my cheeks. Instant pain flashed through my chest and I doubled over, sobbing softly as I clutched my middle. The loss of them was too fresh… I couldn't bear it. It had only been a short time since the burial of their empty coffins, which ripped my apart, body and soul. Especially when they lowered the tiny coffins down, that belonged to my brother and sister. Friends and distant relatives that attended the funeral were all sad and teary of course, but when people are grieving, they need someone to blame. Naturally, I was the only one that had survived, so I was blamed. Not out loud of course, but I heard it in their heads. The people that had come to comfort me looked at me like a freak, wondering how and why I survived when my family, along with every other person, hadn't.

Two taps sounded on the doorframe, pulling me out of my dark, clouded thoughts. "Ash, honey? You alright?" Blake asked worriedly, taking in the room as well as the sight before him. He saw me, and I saw my slumped body from behind in his mind, clouded by worry and anxiety. He wanted to embrace me, but wasn't sure how I'd react. I composed myself and wiped my face turning to glance at him in reassurance.

"I'll be fine. It's just … a lot to take in." I grinned sadly at him and let Sweetie out of her cage, setting her on her bed. She curiously stepped out and sniffed around, getting used to the place I assumed.

Blake placed his hands on his hips, looking lost for words. He wanted to leave me be, let me get used to my new room, but he didn't like seeing me this way.

"Alright well .. bathroom's downstairs on the left … you know where the kitchen is," At this he smiled, remembering my fourteen year old self as I had bounded toward the food. "Um, a friend of mine at the hospital has a daughter around your age. She gave me a lot of clothes of hers, so feel free to try them on if you want." He pointed toward the closet. As he spoke I wondered around the room, inspecting picture frames and the like. "If you don't like them, or they don't fit, we can go shopping tomorrow." _Probably have to get Hannah to take her though; I'm no good with that stuff. She needs a girl's day out. _"Also," Blake continued, "those are your new school books. I took the liberty of getting them ahead of time for you. Your schedule should be inside, I think. You'll start at Forks High next Monday." He gave me a heartening smile and I nodded, letting him think that I was exited and happy, when I was just the opposite. I noticed a picture of my mother and father together, wearing happy smiles and holding hands. My mother was dressed in several shades of fashionable brown and my father in black. My mother had long silvery blonde hair and my father had black. They both looked back at me contentedly through the glass and I resisted tears.

Blake scratched at the stubble on his chin. "So, do you uh .. want to try out for cheerleading this year?"

I flinched, coming to a stop at a picture frame sitting on the desk next to the lamp. The picture depicted the old me in a blue and white cheerleading outfit, with pompoms at my feet. I stood in a cheering pose as my light brown hair wisped around me, visibly shorter than it was now. My green eyes were bright and my smile was authentic. I looked happy because I was. That was the old me. I left all of that behind me.

"No … I'd rather not," I replied and Blake nodded, feeling uncomfortable.

"Ok well, if you need anything, I'll be downstairs, K?"

He left the room and I heard him clatter around the kitchen.

As soon as I had unpacked and had tried on several things in the closet, I plopped down on my bed and let a few tears slide down my cheeks. So this was my new life … everything that was a month ago was gone, replaced by this new, broken me. Sweetie rubbed against my ankles and I sighed, lying down flat on my back to stare at the ceiling.

_Everything will be ok,_ everyone had assured me at the funeral. But how could it? My family was dead … gone … My old life died along with them. How can everything be ok?


	2. Chapter 2: Possibilities

**A/N:**** Re-uploaded to my backup account. (originally posted on my other account, -Moon'sRain-)**

**Endlessly Dreaming:**

**Chapter 2:** _Possibilities_

_**I try to put on a face  
And cover my heart  
But I'm needing it now  
So bad  
I don't know  
How I feel  
Maybe I'm mad  
Or maybe I'm proud  
Can't find the truth  
Can't speak my mind  
Don't know what I'll say  
I'm just thinking out loud**_

_**Thinking Out Loud – Lesley Roy**_

The day after I arrived, Blake insisted that he take me shopping despite the fact that I had informed him that the clothes in my closet fit me just fine. Earlier that morning when I had journeyed to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I heard him chatting on the phone with someone. Now, phones were yet another thing I don't touch. The second I picked up the receiver and held it to my ear, every previous conversation that had taken place on it found their way directly through the ear piece and right into my head. Which tended to give me a headache as well as inform me of things that I really did _not_ want to hear.

As Blake talked, I realized he was asking someone over to accompany us on our trip to the mall. The old me would have been jubilantly jumping up and down in absolute enthrallment, but now I merely cringed at the thought of a mall or shopping in general. Malls meant people, and people meant clustered, noisy thoughts that would surely deafen me for good. I was _not_ looking forward this trip one bit.

After he hung up, I ventured downstairs, still donning my pj's, and joined my uncle at the table. "So, Forks actually has a mall?" I asked curiously, despite myself.

Blake set down his coffee mug and smirked. "Ah, no. We're going to Port Angeles. Forks doesn't have the pleasantry of shopping malls." He grinned at me and I pulled a gallon of milk out of the fridge. As I poured myself a cup and popped two pieces of bread into the toaster, I waited for him to tell me about our company.

His mind revolved around a pretty red headed lady with a soft smile and a kind heart. The memory Blake had of her was one of her in hospital scrubs, tending to children. She was a pediatrician, I realized. So _this_ is Hannah. I knew I was right. The woman Blake mentioned to me yesterday … the mother with the daughter that had given me the clothes …

The Hannah in Blake's mind glanced at him with dark green eyes and smiled tenderly, filling him with delight. On instant, I realized that he had deep feelings for her and I directly backtracked out of his thoughts, blushing. I always felt bad when I intruded on someone's personal and very private thoughts, especially when they had no idea what I was doing.

"So, Ashlynn, I hope you don't mind but the friend I told you about yesterday will be joining us on our little trip, along with her daughter, is that alright? She's the one with the girl that gave you the clothes…? I figured it would be a good idea since I have next to no idea about clothes and … girl things." He turned to glance at me when I didn't answer and I sipped my milk, thinking to myself. He hoped that I would agree so that he could spend more time with Hannah, and I could go off with her daughter, who was about my age. I was beginning to think badly of my uncle for coveting a woman with a daughter when I realized that Hannah was long divorced, and then my condescendence dissolved.

"Sounds like fun," I allowed behind my milk glass. My smile was wry.

He exhaled softly in relief. "Great. They should be here soon." He placed his mug down on a coaster and regarded my outfit. "You should get ready, hon."

I nodded, forcing a smile. I tried to look excited and pleased as I headed back upstairs. His thoughts told me that he believed my façade. Even though he noticed that I wasn't particularly _happy_, he believed that I was looking forward to this. After all, how excited can a girl get after she just lost her family?

_Ouch_. I cringed to myself and shot out of his head, placing my hand on my bedroom wall to relive my father's teenage days instead as I changed into a comfortable outfit. I pulled on my white shoes, a pair of slims, and a simple black T-shirt. I glanced in the mirror and wondered if I should apply any makeup to liven my eyes up some, but then I decided against it. I didn't particularly like to have makeup on when I was too distraught with emotions. It tended to get smeared on days like this. Maybe I should invest in some waterproof makeup…

The low doorbell chime sounded throughout the house and I heard the chair Blake had been sitting in scrape roughly across the wood flooring as he headed excitedly toward the door. "I'll get it!" He called out and I couldn't help but smile to myself.

Even though I was upstairs, I could distinctly hear the heavy downpour of rain echoing through the now open door. This helped my sour mood quite a bit. I was also suddenly elated that I didn't bother with makeup. Rain, although messy and bone-chilling at times, especially here, had its benefits. The thoughts of others were somewhat muddled and seemingly dampened by the water. It was harder to get a person's "signal" in rain, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Along with rain, I heard laughter and indistinct chatter. Sighing softly, I exited my room and headed downstairs to meet out newcomers. I heard an eminent sigh of relief and the lady that I recognized as Hannah came into view. She looked around and her eyes fell on me. She smiled, walking toward me. She was alight with joy and content thoughts, as well as eagerness to meet me.

"You must be Ashlynn." She extended her hand toward me, beaming like a flashlight. Despite her calm demeanor, I didn't dare touch her hand. I stared at it like it was a snake that would bite me. Soon, she dropped her hand, seeming to dismiss this without too much drama. "I've heard so much about you and it's good to finally meet you."

I nodded politely and she turned. A girl about my age came into view, walking forward slowly. She offered a tentative smile, but didn't appear to be as eager as her mother. She had short, straight, jet-black hair with dark eyes and a tall figure. Her T-shirt said, 'Go Spartans!' in red and grey.

_Wow, I can't believe this girl survived that plane crash. She doesn't seem like anything special; does she even know that she's been on the news for the past week? I wonder how she did it … she doesn't even look banged up! Oh, wait until Kayla hears about this. The entire school's been _buzzing_ about this since we heard the rumor about her coming to school with us. She lost her family though .. how sad… I'm sure glad I'm not her._

I cleared my throat, trying to keep my grin plastered on my face. The corner of my mouth twitched.

Hannah pulled the girl forward and draped her arm over her shoulder. "Ashlynn, this is my daughter Amber. You two should get along great." Amber waved once, discreetly looking me up and down.

"Hi," I said tentatively. My voice sounded stuck. Blake gave me an odd look but remained silent.

She smiled in return, seemingly oblivious to the change of my voice. "So, you're going to be going to Forks High, huh?" Amber desperately wanted to have some facts to prove the rumors she'd been hearing –and starting-.

I gulped. Amber was almost exactly like how I used to be. Smart, ignorant, self-centered, curious …

"Yep," I said, nodding slowly as I pursed my lips thoughtfully, taking a tentative peek further in her thoughts.

In her head, she was squealing with exuberant joy. Apparently, she regarded me as some kind of celebrity and wanted me on her arm to show off when we went to school. _'Look! I'm friends with the girl on the news! See?' _is what she wanted to say to her schoolmates. Overall, Amber wasn't a bad person… She just had a different way of thinking than a normal person. She was a cheerleader and captain of the volleyball team. She liked showing off her catches.

Most of my friends back in California were just like her. _I_ was just like her. But that was the past now. It's a wonder how much death can affect your personality.

Blake's bright eyes sparkled like freshly polished diamonds. He was happy to see anyone he knew, but there was something different about this woman. She held a special place in his heart and would be forever loyal to her no matter what. I realized that when Blake cared for something, he gave it his entire, undivided heart to it. He never half-assed anything, which was a characteristic I adored about my uncle. I just hoped that it wouldn't get him hurt one day.

I knew in my heart that I wasn't doing this for myself, or for these two strangers. I was doing this for my uncle. His affection for this Hannah person was enough to make anyone melt like butter, and who was I to deny any time he got to spend with her? Even if I have to spend a day with Amber, I would do it. Just because I didn't want Blake, who had welcomed me into his home with open arms, no questions asked, to feel any kind of pain or loneliness. Feeling it for myself on a daily basis was enough, I didn't need my uncle to feel it as well. Besides, I'd have to hear it every day as well through his thoughts.

Moments later, we all piled into Hannah's car –Blake had offered that we take his car, but Hannah wasn't having it- and were heading off to Port Angeles. Blake and Hannah chatted in the front seat and Amber and I sat next to each other awkwardly in he back.

_I wonder if she has a boyfriend … as pretty as she is, I bet she does. Why wouldn't she? I would if I were her…_

Crap. I tried harder to block out all thoughts and ended up giving myself a migraine. I wanted to be out of this car and into the rain so that I could have at least a moment or two of unperturbed silence to myself.

To hide the frustrated look on my face, I turned to stare out the window. The rush of green steadily lessened and the flow of traffic became greater. As we hit the city, I groaned internally. The more thoughts there were, the harder it was for me to block them out. Even _with_ the help of the rain. Outside, people milled about the streets, into shops and cars and the like. Unable to help it, I slipped into most of their minds and captured thoughts of theirs.

Cringing, I clamped my eyes shut and held my breath, waiting for everything to dull down. My head pounded and I resisted the urge to cover my ears.

Suddenly, Amber tapped my leg and for a split second I was drawn into her head. I saw myself through her eyes and realized that my eyes were dark and sunken in. Definitely not a very pretty sight. Her image of me was tinged with a sudden rush of guilt and empathy.

I drew out, feeling breathless, like I always did when I fully entered someone's brain. My head swam.

"Hey, tell me what Cali was like?" She seemed just as eager for a subject change as I was for a distraction.

"It's not really all it lives up to be, but it has it benefits. Sandy beaches, hot boys, parties every day of the week… packed streets, busy _everything_. Mostly … it's just noisy … which is why I like it here." I offered a smile.

Amber's eyes had lit up the moment I had said hot boys and suddenly I felt like a gossiping girl again, only I had nothing to gossip about. Not anymore, anyway.

"What did you do at your school? Were you involved in anything? Band, sports, what?" I had to hand it to her; she was remaining very calm compared to her soaring blend of emotions.

I cringed, wishing we would have avoided that subject. "Well … I was a cheerleader I guess. It was fun… while it lasted," I allowed.

Amber stayed quiet, seeming to swallow my words. "You could join again, you know. I'm on the team, and so is my friend Kayla. It'll be fun! We'll teach you the drills…"

I scowled tightly, turning toward the window once again. "Id… rather not join. It's not the same for me anymore," I whispered and turned away from her.

Nothing more was said between us and we reached the mall within fifteen minutes and exited the car. Surprisingly, it wasn't raining here, which effectively disappointed me and darkened my mood once again. I spotted dark clouds overhead, but they appeared to be clearing up. Turning back, I noticed that everyone was walking ahead and I jogged to catch up, my hair swishing behind me. Amber grinned at me over her shoulder, hurrying me up.

"Come on!" She shouted between giggles and I couldn't help but smile back at her. As we headed toward the entrance, I realized that all of us looked like a family. Blake and Hannah actually did look like a couple and I guess Amber and I could pass as … sisters. Maybe long lost sisters, but sisters nonetheless. I wasn't sure I wanted another "sister".

The automatic doors hissed open and I recoiled at the booming, echoing noises of voices, footsteps, and finally, racing, incoherent thoughts. We stepped over the threshold and my eyebrows furrowed in concentration to keep my mind silent. Luckily enough, Amber was distracting me by pointing excitedly to several stores and boutiques, filling me in on the fashions and styles, as well as what the cliques at Forks High wore. She informed me that most of the popular Barbie-like girls were clueless on their sense of fashion, but everyone followed their example. Except Amber and her friend Kayla of course.

The more she talked, the more I gradually started to like Amber. She had a selfish personality, but through her thoughts I could tell she cared for others. In this case, through her current thoughts, she could see the loneliness in my eyes and she wanted to distract me from my pain through gossip about clothing, boys, music; girl things. I tried to stay out of her head. Even though I was a clairvoyant, I had no right peeping around in there. Even if she was thinking about me.

It was hard to sustain giggling while with her. She held up pairs of shirts, shorts, pants, and accessories to my body, constantly muttering little things here and there like I was here own personal Barbie doll. After hanging several pairs of clothing that I had agreed to try on over her arm, she looked around the area on her tiptoes. Looking satisfied that no one was around, she leaned toward me.

"Hey your uncle's got a thing for my mom. You know what that means, right?"

I could hear it loud and clear in her head, but I decided to play along with a wide smile that wasn't entirely fake. The teen hidden deep inside me yearned to chat about this very subject with someone and now I finally had my chance. "No. What?"

She grinned diabolically. "If they get married, we become … cousins?" Or something like that? Wouldn't that be cool?"

I smiled softly at her, fingering the lining of a lacy pair of pants. "That would be cool I guess. You think she likes him like he does her?" I whispered, raising a questioning eyebrow. I knew that I was able to tell for myself, but I didn't have the guts to creep around Hannah's head yet. I didn't want to be disappointed or hurt for Blake if she didn't feel the same way.

She pressed her finger contemplatively to her bottom lip. "It depends. My mom doesn't really like to jump into things but she's known Blake for quite a while now. They've been working together for almost a year."

I had a sudden thought. "How old is Ha—your mom?"

Amber's eyes sparkled mischievously. "She had me when she was sixteen so … that makes her thirty-two I guess."

My eyebrows shot up at this revelation. "That's a nine year age difference … Blake's only twenty-three."

Amber giggled, eyeing a price tag on a pair of leather pants. "Well, my mom always did have a thing for younger men." She glanced at me out of the corner of her eyes and we both broke into fits of raucous laughter.

I ended up with four bags of clothing and two boxes of shoes. One pair for school, and the other for formal occasions, which I was positive would be few. I was pretty content with the new clothes, but I was worried about my closet. The rail was going to bust under the weight of all this new stuff.

"It was so nice to meet you Ashlynn," Hannah told me with a warm smile as I exited her car.

"You too," I told her with a wave. The back window of her car rolled down and Amber waved exuberantly at me. "Bye Ash! See you at school, ok?"

I smiled. I was relieved that Amber no longer saw me as a trophy, but as a friend. I waved at her as her car drove off.

"Come on, let's get out of this rain," Blake said to me on his way toward the door. I bit my bottom lip, feeling an unfamiliar ache in my cheeks from smiling so much. I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes, hoping that my parents were looking down on me proudly.

Nodding to myself, I followed Blake back inside the warmth of his house –no, _our_ house.

~ x


	3. Chapter 3: The Beginning of an Eternity

**A/N:**** Re-uploaded to my backup account. (originally posted on my other account, -Moon'sRain-)**

**Endlessly Dreaming:**

**Chapter 3:** The Beginning of an Eternity

_**Sometimes it's hard to just keep going  
But faith is moving without knowing  
Can I trust what I can't see  
To reach my destiny  
I want to take control but I know better  
God, I want to dream again  
Take me where I've never been  
I want to go there  
This time I'm not scared**_

_**Unbreakable - Fireflight**_

Blake and I sat in the living room by the fireplace as the last day of my freedom came to a close. The two of us hardly spoke today, as there was hardly anything to say. We enjoyed each other's company, like we usually did, and it was now dawning on Blake that our time together would be limited now that I was starting school. I wasn't exactly sure why this depressed him since his thoughts were moot on that.

Between us, a kind of sadness lingered in the air like cool, vibrating electricity. I placed my palm over my chest, feeling an emotion that I had pushed to the back of my heart since the accident: grief. I thought of my parents and my siblings and of how they wouldn't be there for me tomorrow to—

_No, Ash. Don't go there. Just don't go there. Nothing good comes from it, remember?_ I told myself as I shook the feeling away.

"Ashlynn, honey…?"

I looked up at my uncle questioningly, having momentarily forgotten where I was.

He regarded me silently with worry lacing his eyes. The fire crackled silently and he finally looked over to the television. "Honey, you stopped it on a Spanish soap opera. Do you like those…?" His eyebrows were knit together. I glanced toward the TV and blushed with chagrin. I hadn't realized I'd been flipping through the channels. Sure enough, I had stopped on a soap opera. Gritting my teeth, I shut the television off and set the remote down, resting my head back against the couch.

"Sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

Sweetie brushed against my legs, purring softly. I stroked her fur and scratched the spot under her chin. Her purring increased tenfold.

A moment of silence passed between my uncle and I. "Are you alright, sweetheart?"

I swallowed. For one, I hated it when Blake pulled that 'sweetheart' and 'honey' card on me. He reminded me too much of my father when he did that.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" It was a rhetorical question and I hoped he wouldn't answer. He didn't, but there was a haunted look on his young face and in his eyes. Grudgingly, I braced myself and slipped into his thoughts.

…_getting worse. At this rate, she may need Psychotherapy. She'll hate me for it, I know she will. She's blanking more and more often, though. It can't just be school. Should I even allow her to go to school? What if the pressure ends up being too much for her? It could make this all worse. Shit…_

With that, I backtracked as quickly as I could. Psychotherapy? Blake cursing had been what triggered me to get out of his head, and now I wished I didn't indulge in his thoughts. People don't like knowing what others truly think of you. I didn't like that Blake thought I needed a shrink. Maybe even meds. He was a nurse, it was his job to help people, and since I came into his life, so unprepared, he had to take care of me to.

School was something that needed serious pondering on my part. I had no idea what it would do to me. Being in a place with hundreds of other people made me feel claustrophobic enough and I would surely drown within the minds of them all. Myself included. I really had no idea what it would be like at school now. In some ways, mind reading could be an unfair advantage. I would have most of the answers to questions without studying for them, without needing to pay attention, without having to make an effort… It would all come naturally to me.

Blake sighed wistfully as he closed his medical book shut and ran a hand through his ashy blonde hair. "Ash, you should get some rest." He moved to tap my knee affectionately but I scurried away from him as fast as physically possible before he could get the chance. The initial shock on his face disappeared after a millisecond. He was already getting used to me, I guessed.

_Ah, right… no initial contact... I wonder if that will fade._

_Not likely, unless someone's touch doesn't suck me into their head –body and soul,_ I answered in my mind.

Instead, I simply nodded at Blake and stood, silently trudging to my bedroom upstairs. "Night," I called just as I shut my door.

Just as I turned out the light, the rain started up again, pattering gently against my window pane. The placid thrums of rain soon grew into a frenzied, hellish hurricane against my window. I glanced outside to make sure the trees that belonged to the forest outside my house hadn't washed away. Just before I shoved the curtains closed, I caught a glimpse of movement in the trees. Before I could creep myself out anymore than I already was, I convinced myself it was just a deer and my eyes needed some rest. I then proceeded to throw myself face-first onto my bed and inhale the scent of my fresh blankets, hoping the simple action could make me drowsy.

Not only did it not work, but the knots in my stomach worsened. Sleep would not come to me easily. Of this, I was absolutely certain.

I had been right. Sleep evaded me for hours on end and to no avail. I tossed and turned amidst my tormented blankets and punched my now flat pillow on more than one occasion in hopes to regain some life into its shape. The hours literally seemed to crawl by and my eyes refused to close. My gut twisted and curled with nerves and nothing I did could quell the horrid feeling.

Finally, the red blinking lights on my clock next to my bedside informed me that it was about 5:32 AM. Sweetie must have given up on trying to sleep next to me, because when I opened my eyes, she was nowhere to be found. Sighing in annoyance, I got to my feet and treaded softly downstairs into the kitchen. I settled down into the closets chair with a small piece of buttered bread, not really even hungry. My churning stomach protested food but I ate the slice anyway. I ran my hands through my frazzled hair, grimacing at the disarray it was in.

Not long after, I heard Blake's thoughts come alive and I sat back in my chair, trying to block out his fruitless and drowsy mind. He shuffled down the stairs with a rather large medical volume of some sort clasped in his hands. He looked about as disheveled as I was sure I was. He had dark circles under his usually bright eyes and a large patch of hair on the right side of his head stood straight up, informing me of which side he slept on. A bit of his thoughts leaked through my barrier, retaining pure worry for me. I grimaced.

He headed to the coffee pot, completely unbeknownst that I was sitting just a few feet from him.

"Mornin'," I said in a low voice and he jumped with a start, the volume in his hands crashing to the ground. His shocked eyes settled on me at last.

"Jesus, Ashlynn!" He exclaimed, breathing heavily.

I pressed my lips together to keep from giggling. "Sorry."

He gave me a jokingly cross look and continued to pour himself a mug of coffee. "What are you doing up so early?"

I nibbled at the bread crusts that I had torn from the buttered bread. "Couldn't sleep. And you?"

He snorted. "Same. But you're too young to not be sleeping. Is something bothering you?"

There was that question again. Ugh.

His worry for me turned to abrupt panicking in his head and my barrier strained against holding all of his thoughts at once. A pucker grew between my brows. "Um … just school. I'm … nervous?" I was sure _that_ convinced him. Great job, Ash. Just great.

Awkward silence filled the small kitchen. I turned my attention to the lines of the wood on the table and traced them with my finger, desperately wanting these long hours to ease by just a bit faster.

Blake slipped a sheet of crumpled paper that had been pressed between the pages of the thick book and started going over it to himself, his eyebrows pulling together as he read. The utter boredom of simply watching him read was not making the damned clock move any faster, unfortunately. I still had a good hour before I needed to start getting ready. I sighed to myself and stood, leaving my uncle in peace as I headed back upstairs. I decided to take a shower to pass the time, not really sure of what else to do.

The impact of the hot water and the lethargic steam against my tight muscles relaxed me enough to a point where I could strengthen my barrier enough to where it would be able to keep all the nagging thoughts out of my head today. My good mood was even slightly elevated, which was really saying something. It had been a long time since I had something even close to an inkling of a happy thought. I was making progress, I guess.

After my shower, I dressed and styled my hair halfheartedly. I was ready for school within twenty minutes, which I considered a new record. In my old life, I was always the girl that painstakingly tended to my looks with carefully applied makeup and hair styles, taking up at least two hours every morning. I always tore through popular magazines, eagerly searching for the newest looks and using my hard earned allowance to invest in them all. Now, none of it mattered. I could really care less what I looked like. Ironic, since I had access to everyone's minds, which meant I had access to what everyone thought about me. I couldn't bring myself to care, though.

"Ashlynn, breakfast!" Blake called up to me. My stomach was obviously protesting against the thought of adding more food into it, but I ignored it. I rushed into my room, grabbed my backpack, and hurried downstairs. Blake set a plate of heaping food onto the table and sipped at his coffee, already wearing his white hospital scrubs.

I sat down in front of the steaming plate, noticing that it was the same spot I sat in this morning. The bacon was a little burnt past recognition, but the eggs looked edible. I poked at the yolk. The members of our family were never great cooks. My mother faired pretty well in the kitchen, but it seemed that everyone on my father's side were terrible. Blake and I got the brunt of it. Things tended to explode when I got near the stove.

I smiled a bit at my own thoughts and tried to eat what I could manage. With a quick glance at the clock, I realized that I had about an hour before school starts.

"So, what's the deal? Want a ride…?" Blake offered.

I cringed, thinking of the ten minute drive with my worried uncle. "No thanks, I'll walk." I gave him my best supporting smile.

He opened his mouth to protest, but then dropped it and nodded at me, the tiniest hint of a smile gracing his lips. "Be careful Ash. Have a good day, alright?"

I nodded seriously and tossed my bag over my shoulder. I fixed my mental barrier into place as I slipped outside. I stopped in shock when I noticed that the sun was out. It was still bone-chilling cold due to the hellish storm that broke through last night, but there wasn't a cloud in the sky. My good mood plummeted into oblivion. No rain. No rain meant no shield from peoples' thoughts. No shield from peoples' thoughts on the first day in my new school meant utter, complete _hell_ for me. Great.

I grit my teeth together and trudged along the sidewalk toward the school. It wasn't a far walk, really. On foot, it would take me about half an hour and then I would still have an additional half hour before the first bell rang. I enjoyed the quiet time to myself. I actually had time to think _for_ myself. On my journey, two cars passed in all, which was barely enough to disturb me. The pavement was still damp, but not enough to soak through my shoes. The forest that lined the road to my right dripped with the precipitation that had fallen the night before. Not long afterward, Forks High School came into view. My stomach once again knotted with nerves. Blake had assured me that he had set up everything for me and I just needed to retrieve my schedule from the attendance office.

I was still a bit early, but the school was already packed. Well, as packed as packed could get with three hundred and fifty-eight students –including myself- could get. The closer I got to the grounds, the more I realized that it was not what I had been expecting. True, Blake and I had driven past it when he picked me up from the bus stop, but seeing it up close and personal was a different story.

There were no security guards, no metal detectors. Hell, there wasn't even a fence around the place. Like the city itself, this school must not get much action. In California, I was used to students pretending they had bombs hidden in their backpacks for April Fool's Day. I'm sure little Forks High didn't have that kind of amusement. Not that I was expecting it, really.

"Ashlynn!"

Turning, I spotted Amber -Hannah's vigorous daughter- heading my way with another girl latched to her arm. Amber beamed at me, brushing her jet black hair from her eyes. The girl at her side wasn't as tall as Amber, but they had the same slim figure. She eyed me carefully with her dark blue eyes.

"Ash, this is Kayla. The girl I told you about?" Amber sounded excited, for reasons I couldn't fathom. I could see it reflecting in the pools of her dark eyes.

I smiled at Kayla, not daring to offer her my hand. I had both of their thoughts blocked, but I could see the jealousy and curiosity rolling off of Kayla. Her dark eyes were bright with it, but the corners of them were pulled together as she examined me. Her smile was stiff. I felt uncomfortable.

"Nice to meet you, Ashlynn. We've been hearing a lot about … you…" She spoke with a kind fervor, but her rabid emotions that I could sense gave her away.

I nodded at them. "Amber, I have to get to the uh … attendance office to get my schedule …" I trailed off, shifting my weight from foot to foot anxiously.

She grinned. "Come on, I'll go with you!"

Kayla trudged along as Amber led the way, bubbly as ever. I timidly dropped my guard just a fraction and dipped into her thoughts. I learned that she was not only happy to have me in school with her at last, but that the weather was warm. Unfortunately, I head a bit of Kayla's thoughts as well.

She played with the edges of her frayed hair as she walked, looking grimly morose. _Damn this weather … _they_ always disappear when it's like this …wish they'd take me with 'em._

I put my wall back up and tried to secure it in place. "They"?

Amber pulled me from my thoughts by announcing that we had arrived at the attendance office. She smiled warmly at me and I walked inside toward the front desk.

"Can I help you, young lady?" The woman was dressed in casual clothing and had graying hair and kind eyes.

I couldn't help but smile back at her. "Yeah, I'm new … I uh need my schedule…"

Her lips twitched. "Your name, sweetheart?"

_Oh_. I blushed with chagrin. _Of course she wants my name. _"Um, Ashlynn Morrison," I answered. The second my name left my lips, her eyes sparkled with recognition. My cheeks heated as I realized that Amber wasn't lying when she had said I was 'famous'.

_Dear Lord in Heaven,_ the woman thought to herself as she eyed me with a mixture of great surprise and curiosity. . She swallowed hard and then fumbled with a stack of papers to her left. Nervously, she shifted through them and finally handed me what I assumed was my schedule with shaking fingers.

"Have a nice day, Miss Morrison. P-please don't hesitate to contact the front office if you need anything." Her wide eyes never left me and I nodded uneasily. Turning away, I exited to heated building and stepped back out into the chill of the morning where Amber and Kayla waited for me. Amber playfully snatched my schedule and looked over my classes. Her face brightened exceptionally.

"We have third period together! Yay!"

I smiled warmly at the girl, unable to help myself. She was buoyant energy. Kayla, well, that was a different story.

After Amber had pointed out my first class for me, the first bell rang. I swallowed hard and Amber strode off with Kayla, wishing me luck on my first day.

I timidly headed toward my class, feeling my heart race with tension and burning anxiety. _Well, ten bucks says I won't make it through this day without some kind of mental breakdown._

~ x


End file.
